I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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