I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
