Swine flu. Run for my life!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
