if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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