Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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