I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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