im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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