it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
