:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
