i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
