dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Randomize
