We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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