I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
