people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
