I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
