it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
