So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
