Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
