so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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