Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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