doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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