this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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