marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
