Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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