sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize