I skipped work to stalk him.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
