one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
