yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize