Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sorry about my life...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
