I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
