my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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