Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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