I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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