Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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