Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
