I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
