dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
this hospital has no fireball
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
