none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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