Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
