Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
