I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im holly from the hills drunk
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize