My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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