Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize