Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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