Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
