I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
