Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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