I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
