I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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