last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
