Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
