you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize