Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize