i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
