Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
