yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize