i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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