Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
