i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
