I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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