I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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