when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
