I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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