Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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