There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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