So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
