I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
