I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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