North Korea, Best Korea!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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