You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
