Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
