On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
