dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize