Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
