So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
