Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What drink are we having for lunch?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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