I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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