Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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