I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
